Mad World

Years ago my friend Russ drug me to the movie theater to see the movie The Beach. It was not a good movie, nor one I enjoyed.

I did, however, appreciate the extremely formidable question it posed to my heart. How far would I go to get what I want? How far would any of us go to keep what we have?

Are we willing to go as far as Kiwi (see above video) - hours, days of work, all to create a false reality just to taste a glimpse of what we dream to attain? Are we willing to step on others, like Tilda's Swinson's character in The Beach, and even let them die to keep the power and paradise she craved?

Something about the Kiwi video breaks my heart. I used to think it was because he died for just a taste of a dream. I used to think it was because he didn't have wings, would never have wings, but wanted to fly so badly he created an environment that gave him the feeling of flying.

But now I think my heart breaks because I'm too afraid to take risks like that. I'm not willing to go all the way. Sometimes the tiniest sliver of doubt makes the wall around my heart go right back up, and a voice inside my head tells me that settling isn't so bad, and the alternative is just too hard. And most certainly not worth it.

Which camp do you fall into? Do you go too far? (Like Tilda.) Do you go just enough? (Like Kiwi) Or do you not go at all? (Like me.)