Monday, August 25, 2014

change



I looked down at my phone and sighed the biggest sigh in the history of the world.

Yeah, ok. I might be exaggerating. But that’s how I felt this morning.

They say that habits form with repetitive choices and positive reinforcement. Well, I was used to getting a text message from a friend. Nearly every morning for the past few years I would get some hilarious or crazy text from a friend. Usually about nothing important. Something stupid that happened at Starbucks or at work. Something on the internet that was crazy. A song that made them feel. Something that would make me laugh.

That changed a few weeks ago. Thus my sigh. Old habits die hard.

I miss the texts. The stories. The laughter. The conversation. And now I have to start my day boring. Boo.

It’s amazing how a person can come into your life and crawl right into your heart and come to mean something so much to you in a short period of time. It’s amazing the hole they leave when they go.

I don’t like change like this. So much change is good. So much. But not this. The words of Jesus are in my brain right now, John 15, “any vine that does not produce good fruit must be pruned…” I imagine this might be a pruning. And God’s pruning is always a beautiful and right and good thing.

But it still hurts.

I like all my vines, thank you very much. That’s why I put them there.

INFJs cling tightly to those we connect with, because that connection is so very rare. We don’t want them to leave, so God has to resort to extreme measures to prune from me (that’s been his m.o. in the past). 

I hate it. 

http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/

5 comments:

KC Bob said...

I welcome change as long as I like it. Unfortunately these past 12 years have not been filled with that kind of change. :)

Julie Wilson said...

ooh, change is soo not my favorite, especially when it is a season of pruning!

Praying God will bless you with a more abundant season of fruit soon!

visiting from 5 min Friday

Karen Brown said...

Stephanie, Again, you amaze me with your ability to go deep so quickly. This honest post, I'm sure, resonates with all of us at some level. Thank you for being honest about loss. And this line..."I like all my vines, thank you very much. That’s why I put them there." ...it stopped me in my tracks. Such truth. I'm so glad you are doing FMF! I'll join you after my break. :) Love ya!

kate said...

What a wonderfully written post .. I so enjoyed it! Thrilled to have you joining us for Five Minute Friday. Hope to see you here again and again! ;-)

stephanie said...

Thanks to you all for the commiseration and the kind words!