Messed Up

I've had the privilege to intern under, for the last year, a woman who defines the term "living in grace". Each week when she speaks to the women of the church I am in awe, not only of how she relates to them, but of how God uses her in so many areas of her life.

She's not afraid to admit she's messed up. She's not afraid to speak of her own sin and her own idols. She is grieved by them, her heart breaks for them. But she reminds us that Christ is bigger than them. And the women respond in ways I've never experienced. I see her speak into their lives and have watched how they have changed over the last few months. They relate to her struggles - they understand them, and they peel away the layers of their own sin to work and process together.

It's an amazing thing to see.

It's finally looking like Spring in St. Louis. The days are getting warmer (finally up to 80 degrees today) and as I walk from my street parking to the church or around campus on my way to class, I'm seeing flowers peek up everywhere. They are in every color God dreamed up. They are tiny and new; they are reborn in this Springtime.

In the same way, I am watching that happen at my church. I'm watching seeds that were planted years ago grow and bloom. I'm watching these people transform. I'm watching how God uses everything to change a person's life - whether it's messed up a lot or just a little.

There's something to be said for a leader who isn't afraid for their own weaknesses. And now that I've seen it in action, I'm not sure how else you can lead well in ministry. I thought, when I was in ministry before, I had to lead without mistakes and weaknesses. I thought it was the only way to lead well. I am now realizing it's only when we are broken can we help others accept their own brokenness and walk alongside them as God heals them.

Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up.