Wow. I don't even know what to say

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Courtesy of the view from her:

Don't drink anything while reading the following text, or I will owe you a new keyboard.
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The Daily Mail reports, "Vasectomies could be a thing of the past thanks to a remote controlled implant that can stop the flow of sperm. The valve-like device can be opened and shut at the press of a button, using the same technology that locks a car using a key fob."

Well. This is genius. It finally gives men a way to be responsible for contraception, in a form they like: a remote control. Now let's just try to picture how this works. The implant, which contains a tiny antenna, is inserted you-know-where, using a needle. The valve remains closed most of the time, as a contraceptive. Should a man desire to try to conceive, he can open the valve with his remote control. He just points it at...himself, and clicks. (Okay, is anyone but me laughing? I mean besides the women.)

The remote then sends a radio signal through the skin to the implant's antenna, which converts it into sound waves. You know, this is kind of starting to sound like a good news/bad news invention, if you ask me. The good news is you get a cool new remote control, but the bad news is in involves needles and radio signals and sound waves all concentrated in one particularly... sensitive spot. Here's another totally awesome feature: "As with cars, each device would have its own unique code so it could not be opened by anyone else."

Right now I'm picturing an especially passionate moment upstairs, in which for some unknown reason, downstairs the garage door is going up and down.

And it provides a whole new reason for men and women to fight over who gets the remote.

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Okay, yeah, I'm now dying with laughter. I can't help it. I'm 12.

Comments

j a n said…
Thank you so much for the link. I'm glad someone else thought that story was as funny as I did! :-)

You have a great blog. I really liked your most recent post on new conservatives.
11:15 PM
Andy Brown said…
Yeah, but what they really need to do is incorporate that into those universal remotes. You know, so you can control your satellite, tivo, tv, whatever else, without having to search for that specific remote.

What would the icon on that button look like, anyway?

And how do you change the batteries? (not referring to the remote)
12:13 PM
stephanie said…
Jan - I know! It's nice to have someone else out there who can appreciate the humor of the situation. Thanks for stopping by, I've been enjoying your blog for a few months now.

Andy - you are not going to believe this, but I thought the exact same things about the universal remote, which led to all kind of interesting thoughts...
7:28 PM
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