Thursday, August 10, 2006

Running

"You can't chase a runner."

My pastor and I were talking last night after rehearsal and that came out of his mouth. I'm still thinking about 24 hours later. It's the first time I"ve heard it worded quite that succinctly. And a concept so complicated? Maybe shouldn't be worded so simply.

Am I a runner? Most women will admit that in the romance area, they want to be chased. But I'm not talking about the romance area. I'm talking about running from things that scare you. Running from things that hurt. Running from what might hurt.

Is it really easier?

Doesn't seem like it. With no running comes no brooding, no angst, no "what if" no "maybe someday". But staying, dealing and moving on sounds so... healthy. Sometimes I wonder if fear is a way of telling us we aren't ready.

Don't we all, at some point or another, want to be chased... to know that we are wanted and sought after? Does wanting that make it okay? Or is it just a stupid little game we play to see how far the other will chase until theey get tired and have to stop? (For some reason I'm sensing a metphor or possible joke connecting this with the tortoise and the hare, but my brain just can't get there right now).

I can't help but wonder if part of the appeal of running isn't about keeping the possibility of something else happening alive. As much as you run away from something you don't want to face, you are also running towards the hope it will work itself out. Or running towards the answer you want but are worried you won't get, which is why you are running in the first place.


What I'm listening to: Imogen Heap's Speak for Yourself

No comments: