Wednesday, May 10, 2006


Why must we pretend to be happy? And why is this asinine desire for others to see us at the best version of ourselves?

You see, this is why I can never work in a job like sales or customer service. I just can't be a chipper, happy and pleasant person on cue. It's not in my genetic make-up. I don't feel like a lesser person because of it. Maybe I should. I just can’t stand acting fake to another person.

What does God say about posing? I haven't done a lot of looking into this, so I don't recall much off the top of my head, but I wonder about Matthew 5:37 "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." . I remember studying this in a class I had on Instructional Bible Study and in context, Jesus is talking about keeping the promises you make to God. But can't this be applied to any situation? "Don't be a faker. Be honest with who you are and what you feel. Stick to your word and follow through with it" I have a hard time believing Jesus would do anything less than that.

I remember about six years ago our former pastor was going through a series on marriage and one sermon in particular I still remember - it was on the myths of marriage. One myth he mentioned was "I shouldn't have to change to make my husband/wife happy". He believes it’s important to change because we should want our spouse to be happy. That left a bad taste in my mouth, so I called him up and we talked about it. I was in a relationship at the time where I was being asked to change, and while the change was really no big deal in retrospect, I was concerned about changing the heart of who I was. And I wasn't about to do that for anyone. He reminded me his wife loves quilts and he doesn't really care for them. So when she wants to go to a quilt show and wants him to go with, he goes, not because he's a doormat, but because it makes her happy. And he wants her to be happy. He told me not to compromise who I am at my core, because God made me that way for a reason, but changing behavior to make someone else happy is essentially a gift, as long as it doesn't conflict with the standard God has set for us in scripture.

I still hate being a poser and in every situation, I avoid doing so because I hate who I become when I do. But I can see my former pastor's point. Part of being in a relationship with someone is wanting to please them, not to get your own way.

What I'm listening to: Tegan and Sara's So Jealous
Still reading Peretti's Monster (with a security blanket nearby). It's completely freaking me out.

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