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Showing posts from May, 2006

What?

I'm so proud of my state. Height Saves Child Molester from Jail Really? Is this judge kidding?

Independance

My independence has become a problem (and I just used the passive voice and it's killing me). It a problem. I just don't trust people anymore. Perhaps that has to do with my independence, perhaps not. My parents were in awe of how stubborn and independent I was even as a young girl. They usually didn't worry about me making bad decisions, because I was never that kind of kid. But my independence came from a number of things - from being the youngest of two brothers quite a bit older than me, having parents that both worked (my mother not until I reached jr. high), and honestly? Because I was the only girl. I had to be tough - to stand up for myself against a brother who once shot me in the head with a bb gun. No, I'm not kidding. He actually did. When I was 9 and he was 15. Butthead. But I digress. I am reminded of a friend I had several years back who once told me he liked onions because they strengthen the heart. And I remember it in a weird kind of "fuzzy-memor

Who us, do something?

It's time to pull out. Looks like I'm not the only one who thinks it's time to rethink what's going on over there. 2,400 is 2,400 too many. Even though he supports it, I appreciate it him telling us to speak up. You go, John.

It's About Time

I hate these things When 2 & 3 go off the line for the last time, then I'll be one happy girl.

Dreams

Have you ever had this song that just broke your heart? That for some inexplicable reason you feel your chest cave in every time you hear it? I've had one of those songs - forever it seems - and a couple of years ago it was covered by a group called Across the Sky but the song itself is probably 10-12 years old. I haven't heard it forever, but it popped up on my iTunes earlier today and I remembered how every single time I hear it, my heart stops. Dreams within the still of night on wings of hope take flight inside of me There upon some distant shore we want for nothing more than what will be And you and I, here we are I wonder as we've come this far If I could only read your mind tell me the answer I would find Do You dream of me? Love has found a magic place a deep and hidden place where time stands still Now I hold you in my arms you know you hold my heart and always will You and I, here we are and it's a wonder that we've come this far And after all that we&#

Posing

Why must we pretend to be happy? And why is this asinine desire for others to see us at the best version of ourselves? You see, this is why I can never work in a job like sales or customer service. I just can't be a chipper, happy and pleasant person on cue. It's not in my genetic make-up. I don't feel like a lesser person because of it. Maybe I should. I just can’t stand acting fake to another person. What does God say about posing? I haven't done a lot of looking into this, so I don't recall much off the top of my head, but I wonder about Matthew 5:37 "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." . I remember studying this in a class I had on Instructional Bible Study and in context, Jesus is talking about keeping the promises you make to God. But can't this be applied to any situation? "Don't be a faker. Be honest with who you are and what you feel. Stick

Landmarks and Going Thru the Motions

This is a great post. I appreciate blogs on worship because they are leaders like me, in the fray, leading a group of people who are often more concerned with going to church than actually being the church. I don't get to just "go" to church. When I'm there I'm either leading worship or behind the church laptop running the projector. So it's different for me. I don't have the normal experience of what could become habit-forming church attendance. I don't get to sit in a pew, sing a few songs and listen to someone talk for while about the Bible. (I'd like to hope regardless of what role I have in the church I wouldn't go thru the motions instead of the true experience of worship the author writes about in the above blog post... but I digress.) What does it take for a person to get to this point? What causes it? Unless we discover the root of the problem, the reason for this obligatory behavior, nothing in the church will change. Here's the

Not Being Good Enough

This is my greatest fear. At least according to this test . I took it four years ago and that was my result: I am most afraid of not being good enough. And I remember thinking to myself, at least Russ was wrong, my greatest fear isn't rejection . Potato, potahto. So I started to understand myself a little better as the result of this test, but I didn't know how to fix it. How do you overcome something that's followed you around for years, something you've overcompensated for over and over again, and something you didn't even realize was a fear in the first place? What does it truly mean to be the best version of yourself? Or as Chambers puts it "Being my utmost for his highest"? Isn't this a journey every woman must take for herself? I know who I want to be, but is that attainable? I've found that most people, women in particular, want to be themselves but are just as concerned (if not more so) with being what everyone expects of them. Instead of

And It Comes Before the Fall...

Pride is a funny thing, isn't it? It's easy to spot the obvious signs. The cocky athlete that claims he is the greatest (ala Muhammand Ali) the co-worker who walks around correcting everyone else because their way is better, the the self-righteous church-goer who whispers behind the backs of others "You know what I heard about her? She smokes! How can she call herself a Christian?" It's easy to see the obvious pride-markers, in ourselves or others. But what about the more sutble ways pride can manifest itself in your heart? Comparison, for example. " Well, at least I'm not a murderer. Big deal if I cheated on my taxes a little last year." or "Is it really so bad that I'm jealous of my best friend's life? I mean, it's not as though I'm like so-and-so who doesn't even go to church." This kind of pride can cloak itself in justification, piety and dismissal. This kind of pride can ruin a friendship with someone because you