Monday, November 21, 2005

Playing Pitch and Laughing

What I'm listening to: Norah Jones' Feels Like Home

My sides hurt. From laughing.

I've been part of a small group bible study for almost a year now. I love it. Every Monday, we meet and go through the study we are currently on. It's all women about my age, and we have an amazing time together. I prayed for the right small group to come into my life and God brought it. I am blessed.

Tonight there wasn't a study. It's the leader's birthday so we all brought junk food and played pitch. We had two tables going and it was loud. Lots of laughing, so much fun. My sides hurt and my voice is actually a little scratchy. Yes, we laughed that much.

I don't deserve this. I don't deserve such a fun night with some great people. I really don't. But there it was, kind of out of nowhere. Life's been hectic lately, with my church celebrating it's 125th anniversary this last weekend, my two jobs, the holidays coming, and tons of other personal stuff. So much I almost didn't want to go just so I had a night free to catch up on things. I hadn't had a night free in two weeks. But there is was, this small sparkle in the midst of the dark sky.

But I went because I said I would (I'm "Miss Reliable", that I am) and I'm happy I went. I am blessed beyond measure.

So why am I still frustrated?

I want another full-time job badly. I don't know what or where, but I'm so ready for something new.

Is it so much to ask that both my personal and professional life are for once good at the same time? For as long as I can remember, it's been one or the other. (Which the exception of summer to 2004 to february of 2005, when both were awful).

Even though I know I don't deserve the blessings I have, I can't help but wonder. When's it my turn?

No comments: