Friday, September 05, 2014

two silences




I really wish I could tell the difference between the silence. The bridled silence I'm afraid I too often control. The caged silence for which I blame myself.

When he is silent, it hurts. When I forget to listen it hurts, too. It just takes longer to hurt. And when it comes, it rushes fast like a desert storm rolling over the dirt in the valley. Powerful and bursting forth I break the silence of my own feelings. The bursting forth as I sit in my car in my garage and I just cry.

Sometimes I can't hear you.

Sometimes you don't speak.

Why must it be so hard to listen for a whisper? To speak...so easy. To listen to others, myself... little effort is required.

But your whisper. Can puncture a heart. Will break through the silence.

And your silence even when I'm trying to desperately to listen? Well, that itself is a whisper. In a promise. A promise of words read and heard before. I cling to this. Even when it's hard.

I wish for whisper often, maybe all the time. I wish for whisper I could hear even when I'm not listening. I wish for whispers I could hear when I don't want to hear them.

Longing for these words, these whisper, so echoes the imposition of life. It's so the Romans 7.

Help me to learn and listen in the silence, O Lord.

3 comments:

Merri Dennis said...

Silence that in itself is a whisper as we remember words read - Thank you for the reminder that God is God and loves us so even in the silence.

Karen Brown said...

Stephanie- Once again... you go deep and your words reach a spot within my heart that needed stirring. These lines struck a chord with me: "And your silence even when I'm trying to desperately to listen? Well, that itself is a whisper. In a promise. A promise of words read and heard before. I cling to this. Even when it's hard."Thank you for your honest reflections and your beautiful words. Great post, friend!

Krista said...

It seems we were on the same page this week. :)
Thanks for visiting me.
Hopefully we both will be able to still ourselves and hear the whisper this week.