Prayer, Silence, and Kneading
Week 3 into "Sacramental Baking" course I'm taking online and finding this week particularly tough... and it's only day 2 1/2 since we've received our assignment.
Week 1 was particularly sweet, because it was the epitome of everything I wanted to get out of the course - take me out of my comfort zone (baking bread) and quiet myself (pray while kneading and practicing examen prayer). My time of kneading and praying was so sweet. It's something I want to do every day, except that I would have so much bread I wouldn't know what to do with it all.
This week, even though I'm an introvert, I know is going to be difficult for me. We are to practice silence.
I'm okay with learning how to quiet myself, as long as I am doing things that come pretty easy to me. I'm such a hypocrite. Really.
My parents and my brothers are here in Arizona, staying in my house, until Thursday. My dad and my brother are very extroverted, needing to be around people to get their energy While my mom thinks she's an introvert, she nowhere near the introvert I am, so my house is very noisy this week. I used to a pretty quiet house (so I thought) until I realize just how much I DO have noise in my life. Music is almost always on, if the TV isn't. I listen to music while I read, clean, etc. Goodness, I even have a noise machine that I claim to have purchased to drown out the incredibly loud sound of the crickets in the summertime. But I still use it during the other months.
My life just isn't silent. So for this week, when it's especially not silent due to visitors, I have to laugh a little. This is just such a God thing... he knows how stubborn I am. He also knows I'm pretty ready for a challenge (at least, most kinds) so I just know he really wanted to make sure that the week I would struggle with the most he would put more obstacles in my way. This is how I learn best. I don't learn just by trying and practicing something. I learn by uncovering all the stuff that lies on top of the thing I need to learn. I have to dig in order to "get it."
Oh, Heavenly Father, you really get me, don't you?