A Word from the Lord

It's my last semester of seminary, so that means job hunting. Yuck.

But I found a job description excited me. So I called the church and talked to the senior pastor. He went to seminary with friends of mine from college. His wife is from Nebraska. He said he would take a look at my profile and resume, so I sent it to him.

Two weeks ago I had a phone interview with him and the search committee. It was intense, but good. Last week I got an email from the senior pastor telling me that they loved my answers, and wanted to talk with me further. He asked me where i was at, what I was feeling, and what the Spirit was telling me. I replied, telling him I enjoyed our conversation as well and that I would love to talk further.

I didn't hear anything for almost a week. Good thing a friend of mine was in town for a visit, or I might have gone mad.

Then, this last Wednesday the pastor called me and said, "We all really liked you, and want to fly you out to meet us."

Yikes.

I set off for Windridge Solitude, a hermitage run by Roman Catholic nuns one hour south of St. Louis. I spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday morning there. It was blissful, peaceful, divine and sweet. I knew that in going, I would seek answers to the call. Do I belong at this new church? Will I even get a job offer? Should I take it if one is offered? What about the job possibility here? What about those two other jobs I just applied for last week? So many questions... I knew it was possible I would leave without answers. The Lord works the way the Lord works, and it pretty much never ceases to surprise me.

As I sat by Lake Osage, pondering my questions I realized something very significant I needed to admit to myself. I am afraid. I'm afraid of lots of things. And I don't want my fear to get in the way of a call.

I took a solitude walk on Friday morning. (It rained all day on Thursday so I couldn't do much walking then). The sun was out, bright and shining (rare for St. Louis, that's for sure) and I turned my ipod on to Red Mountain Church and this song came up.

Narrow Little Road
I believe in the love of God
It is an orphan's wildest dream
It is a narrow little road
It is an ever-widening desert stream

Oh I, and I,
I will leave this road
For the narrow

It is portrayed in the bread and wine
Let it fortify my bones
It is more than just a sign
It is the fountain from that desert stone

Oh I, and I,
I will leave this road
For the narrow

I have to be willing to go where I'm afraid to go - where I don't want to go. I have to leave the wide and comforting road I've built for myself, for a narrow road that God built for me.

The Lord gave me another word during my hermitage. But I'll save that for later. I've got church tomorrow. :)