Thursday, June 14, 2007

Question

**No I am not impersonating Dwight when I say "question".**

Hee.

Is it better to not confront a person you've already forgiven, that has recently come back into your life after a long period of absence, and has never acknowledged or apologized for the hurt they caused? Especially when said person hates confrontation and probably doesn't think they did anything wrong?

Or should I try to clear the air?

(Because even if it's not on their mind, it is on mine. But I don't want to do this for selfish reasons, either.)

4 comments:

David Chen said...

Hey Stephanie

Found your blog through your comment on my blog. One of the 12-steps from Alcohlics Anonymous reads as follows:

"Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-step_program#The_Twelve_Suggested_Steps

The "except when to do so would injure them or others" I think is an interesting part; it means that we should place others needs above our own needs for reconciliation.

Anyway, just some more food for thought :)

Good luck!

stephanie said...

That's kind of why I felt the need to ask the question. I really feel like I'd only be doing it to make myself feel better. (And partly because I want her to know how much she hurt my feelings).

And I know how selfish that sounds.

I'm apparently having a much harder time with the "forget" part of "forgive and forget".

I do feel I should view the step, while a good one, from a different perspective as I am the one wronged. These steps seem to be written for someone who has wronged another. But perhaps that is just a "potato, potahtoe" kind of argument

Kansas Bob said...

I think that my post this morning might answer your question Angela, er Pam, er Phyllis, er Karen, er Kelli, er Stephanie :)

ptg said...

8. Made a list of all persons that had offended me, and became willing to get even with them all.