Digging my way out

-


It's been a complicated couple of weeks for me.

1.) I applied to seminary - and I allowed the application process to drag on and on. The personal statement hitting on 4 major points in under two pages was a bit of an issue for me. I think part of it was just wanting to write about the best parts of my walk and my experience in ministry along with the best sentences. I didn't want it to be cookie-cutter, and I didn't want bad sentence structure. I don't look at that enough here, and I'd hate for that to carry over into the rest of my life.


2.) I've been dealing with some major changes in the worship ministry I lead. They are good and difficult changes all at the same time. And the entire time I've had to look at from this perspective: "What if I'm not here in three months?" The entire 7-year experience of building the worship ministry at my church was astounding, heart-breaking, wonderful and complicated all at the same time. I'd never done anything like it before, and as I focus on passing the baton to the next leader (and figuring out who that leader will be) is also wonderful and hard - and again, something I've never done. And my stupid desire for perfection is just one more hurdle to jump over during this process.

3.) I lost my uncle last week. He was 52 years old, in good heath, and died suddenly from a heart attack. To put it succinctly: last week sucked.

4.) A dear friend moved to Omaha - why does the western part of the state get all the good people? That also sucks. I miss her.

5.) I cut off my hair. I recognize this isn't that big of a deal to most people, but I am a girl and well, now I have to re-learn how to fix it. It's been a while since my hair's been above my shoulders. (1997, I think) So now? It just looks messy as I've been trying a new product called "Surf Hair". At least it smells good.


I've had many ideas in my head I've wanted to explore with no time to sit down and let them spill out of me. If I can remember all the ideas, I won't give up and will make time to write about them. For now, it's necessary I clean out my inbox and figure out what I've missed while dealing with reality.

Comments

kc bob said…
I hate weeks like that. Blessings on the seminary process and sympathy for your uncle's passing - 52 is just too young.
6:53 AM
stephanie said…
Thank you for being such an encouragement to me!
10:24 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Dichotomy of Country Music

-
Image
I spent Sunday afternoon in our family farm's shop, refinishing a dresser I found at a local antique store. I'm a farmer's daughter, yes, and certainly what some would call a "country girl". But most who know me are surprised when they find this out about me. Maybe it's because my vocabulary doesn't include double negatives, or maybe it's because I don't like country music. Who knows. I need to have music on when I refinish anything. It keeps me in the groove and passes the time a little faster. I realized I'd forgotten the ear buds to my ipod, so I was stuck with the shop radio, where I was only able to get one station to come in. Of course, it was a country music station. (After all, I do live in Nebraska, where throwing a rocks ensures you to hit a country music fan.) I can put up with said music for a time, so I left the dial where it was and kept it low in the background. Then my ears perked a little when this came on: I am weak and he is
Read more

for what is small is not at all

-
Image
It was such a small thing. But it didn’t feel small. And then I realized… that was sort of the point. Lots of us have our online “community” of friends. People we interact with on facebook, twitter, etc, that we have not met in real life. We might someday, but for now, we’ve connected online likely because of similar interests or perhaps political views. Either way, it’s a community. It’s different from those in real life, of course, but it still feels faithful to call it a community. A new and large part of my online community comes from one thing we all have in common: the subscription to a magazine called Christ and Pop Culture . Part of subscribing is a membership to a private Facebook group where we interact on all things Jesus and pop culture related. From there, friendships are “formed” and twitter followings have begun. This is a story from that community. I suppose it started when Matt Poppe and I followed each other on Twitter. I have no clue who foll
Read more