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What I'm listening to: My Restoration mix Five Qualities of an Effective Worship Leader (by Lamar Boschman) 1.) Knowledge of God (Have a large view of God) 2.) A Heart Shaped by Worship (Be a worshiper in private) 3.) Intuitiveness (Sensitivity to the Holy Spirit is essential) 4.) Pastoral Heart (Be a leader of people before you are a leader of songs) 5.) Musicality (Play skillfully before the Lord) As a worship leader, I've always felt more like the quarterback than the coach. Meaning I'm in there, with the congregation -worshipping - just as the quarterback is in there with the team. A leader, but in no way like the coach, who is just shouting instruction from the sidelines. I'm leading them, but we are working together to get down the field to the goal - authentic worship of God. I struggle with accepting that's really all I can do. Our worship band is comprised of an amazing group of worshippers. They love playing music and much as I do, but abo...

What I'm listening to: Fleming and John's Delusions of Grandeur I'm running errands over my lunch break today and I've got the radio tuned to New Life Live by default - I'm usually listening to The Bridge , a local christian radio station, when I'm driving. Anyway, there was a caller asking about her marriage. Her husband had cheated on her, moved away and wanted nothing more to do with her and her question to them was "When do I give up on this marriage?" At one point, Steven Arterburn said "There comes a time when our hearts must be either repaired or replaced." So, my mind went back to the theme of restortation I've been exploring the last month. And I found this question very profound. Repair or replace? It's certainly not my place to answer this question. God knows and understands the depth my hurt, and thus can best decide what I need: A new heart or one that's patched up. I recall a moment back during my days of insomnia ...

What I'm listening to: Gretel's Unreturnable Dirt _____________________________________________________________ I've discovered something about myself this last weekend. When push comes to shove, I'm more of a loner than a people person. I've been snowed-in since yesterday afternoon. I love snow. I love it's beauty, the way it symbolizes Christmas is here. Snow blankets the Nebraska plains, and blankets the trees that have lost their leaves from the windy autumn. I love to pick it up in my gloved hand and smoosh it together (yes that's a real word. To me anyway). And I especially love it when it falls from my fingers and lands on my shoes. I love it way it feels in my hair during a snowball fight, I love how it makes a warm house seem so much warmer when I come inside. What I don't love is what it does to the roads and how it makes my trips to work scary. But it's such a small amount of suffering for the peace it brings my soul. It's my "m...

What I'm listening to: John Mayer's Any Given Thursday I can't help it. I'm addicted to TV shows on DVD. I don't have cable. I've always seen it as an unnecessary expense, I never had it growing up, so I don't really know what I'm missing. But I kept hearing about all these great shows on the WB or UPN that I should see. So this weekend I had Friday off, and needed to paint the Christmas decorations for the women's Christmas banquet at church. I knew I'd be inside all day (which is not a bad idea the day after Thanksgiving. I get crabby when I shop this time of year. And I love to shop.) Anyway, so rented the first couple of discs of Veronica Mars I've noticed that since TV shows are released on DVDs now, it's getting harder and harder for me to get into the show I currect make a point to watch during the week. There aren't many - The Amazing Race , Grey's Anatomy and Alias . I used to be faithful Joan of Arcadia to until the i...

What I'm listening to: Caedmon's Call's Share the Well Completely fascinating. Intensely shocking. Progressively moving. And I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. (That hasn't happened to me since American Beauty ) Crash is not what I expected. But I go into most movies with very little because most of what I've seen in the last few years has lowered said expectation level. However, I'd heard the film was powerful. I loved Million Dollar Baby - which earned every award it won - and Crash was also written by Paul Haggis, so I picked it up after work tonight expecting to see a good movie, but not like this. I was taken on a journey through a day in the lives of 15 or so different characters. Some I hated, some I loved. All I ended up caring about. So much so I found myself tracing the reason a person behaved a certain way back to the character that first encoutered them. It's Paul Thomas Anderson's Magnolia without the quirky sense of humor. An...

What I'm listening to: Norah Jones' Feels Like Home My sides hurt. From laughing. I've been part of a small group bible study for almost a year now. I love it. Every Monday, we meet and go through the study we are currently on. It's all women about my age, and we have an amazing time together. I prayed for the right small group to come into my life and God brought it. I am blessed. Tonight there wasn't a study. It's the leader's birthday so we all brought junk food and played pitch. We had two tables going and it was loud. Lots of laughing, so much fun. My sides hurt and my voice is actually a little scratchy. Yes, we laughed that much. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve such a fun night with some great people. I really don't. But there it was, kind of out of nowhere. Life's been hectic lately, with my church celebrating it's 125th anniversary this last weekend, my two jobs, the holidays coming, and tons of other personal stuff. So mu...

I love this picture of the Model A. My uncle (who the car belongs to - passed on to him from my grandpa) and my grandma are inside. What I'm listening to: Caedmon's Call's Back Home