never been here before

What I'm listening to: Reindeer Section's You are My Joy . Don't get the wrong idea by the title of this post - I'm not a Gin drinker. Actually, I'm not a drinker. But that's irrelevant for the sake of this post. But I am bitter. Stanley Richards can write about how the two go hand in hand until he's blue in the face for all I care. But the fact remains for me: I let myself get bitter. Not in that "I'm so mad at the world I refuse to shower" way or the "Chasing pills with Tequila" way or even the "I hate all people, especially men" way. It's none of those, in all honesty. This bitterness, however, has taught me a valuable lesson. But I don't think I will share that lesson with you tonight. The fact is, everywhere I turn I get a "message" or "hint" to confront a person I don't want to confront. It's not my place to confront this person , I say to myself. It wouldn't matter if I tried a

What I'm listening to: Mainstay's Well Meaning Fiction ... but I will recommend this one. I haven't read the other two yet (I'm just barely finishing up this one) and as much as I hate reading books in a series, I may have to continue with this one. We'll see. I'm not a fantasy/science fiction sort of reader. Never been my thing. This book has a lot of that and more, yet it kept my attention despite the "fuzzy white bats" the "glowing trees in red, purple and yellow" and the "naka fruit". Intrigued? Well, read it. It won't take you long. It's not a mind bender, but an entertaining read full of imagery and imagination. Blink is one of my favorite fiction books, so a friend gave me Black for Christmas. Interesting stuff.

What I'm listening to: KLOVE on my iTunes So I walked to work today. That was interesting. Nearly two feet of snow and only two people bothered to scoop their sidewalks. So I spent most of the time walking in the middle of the street (not at all dangerous considering how this town is notorious for it's crazy drivers). I mean, I know Americans are stereotypically lazy, but come on. How much does it take to scoop your sidewalk? I don't know about you, but I'd rather scoop 8" twice than 19" once. But that's just me. But I can't help it. I spent a good portion of yesterday looking out the window with a smile on my face. I love snow. The way it changes the brown landscape into the magical beauty of sparkling white wonderland. Call me a freak if you want, but snow makes me smile like nothing else. It's God's reminder that he can beautify even the most barren land. The world changes when it snows. We pull together to dig each other out. We laugh and

This just made my week. Jessica Simpson snubs President Bush What I'm listening to: Dvorak (New World) Symphony

What I'm listening to: ABBA's Gold (and I'm not afraid to admit it!) It's hilarous.And I swear it has nothing to do with me being a Mac person.

"Why would you want to spend your life where you aren't needed?" A typically thoughtful question from a man known for well, his thoughtful and stirring questions. Earlier this week, my friend Angie mentioned one acceptance speech stuck out to her as she watched the Oscars - Reese Witherspoon's. At one point, Reese said "People used to ask June [Carter, the character she played to win Best Actress] how she was doing, and she used to say -- "I'm just trying to matter." And I know what she means. You know, I'm just trying to matter, and live a good life and make work that means something to somebody." And Angie realized that's all she wanted, too. I'm afraid that we sell out comfort for fear. I'm afraid that we choose complacency instead of a passionate life devoted to Christ. I'm afraid that people are so worried about how hard their life could be that they just settle for what they can get. I saw that in Angie eyes as she c

This guy makes me sick And sorry that I used to live in Kansas.

What I'm listening to : Waterdeep's Live at the New Earth I'm not called to be a worship leader. Not that ever felt 100% confident to be worship leader...because if God spoke to me in a still, small voice or a loud boom, I completely missed it. Wouldn't be the first time. However, I know I'm called to lead worship in the place on at at this time, but I'm certain I'm not called to do this forever. Don't get me wrong, I love to lead worship. It's a pleasure and joy to do what I do with the people I do it with. I'm just not called to it.One of the reasons I feel called to lead worship at this time and place is not just a matter of worship. It's about church health. So this little epiphany (if you will) is not a huge surprise, but in a way it kind of is. God's done a lot to surprise me these last few years and maybe I always thought in the back of my mind that even though I didn't feel called to lead worship didn't mean God wouldn'

What I'm listening to : Canticle of the Plains Last Sunday I went to clean my old place. To make it new and shiny for the next inhabitants. Start in the back, work toward the front. Top to bottom, work in a circle. I've always been taught that's the way to go through and clean a house. And somewhere in the middle of it all, I had to pause. I spent the last five years in that place - where some pretty amazing things happened to me. Those pretty amazing memories criss-crossed in my brain as I scrubbed and wiped. Smiles crossed my face and all that. But more than anything, I actually took pause. I've never grown emotionally attached to a residence before. Perhaps it's not so much attachment, but for the first time when I moved out of a place I actually stood and looked around after it was empty to say goodbye. It was so obligatory - done without thought as to why. Like I couldn't help myself. God took me to a different place when I lived there. A place I never exp