Manipulation and Grace

Whenever you work in a position in a church that can affect change, you are inevitably going to have people who try to manipulate you. It may not seem like "out and out manipulation" - it may simply seem as though someone is trying to get you to see their side of the issue. But let's face it... at the heart of it is manipulation. We've just managed, as "polite" Christians, to put a less negative label on it.

This afternoon I had a difficult conversation with a leader in the church - one who's been through a previous church going apostate and having to leave it and find another church. Her and her husband are significant stakeholders in this church - one's an elder, one's a deacon. They both have taught adult Sunday School, which is where our conversation started. They have taught several worldview classes in the past (only one since I've been here). However, the Christian Education team felt it was time to take a break from that topic and offer something different. Parenting was one topic, and the team felt she and her husband would be great at teaching that class. So I called to talk with her about this.

A while back, a different congregation member approached me in May and said she wanted to teach this in Sunday School this Fall. First off, let me say that I have a certain amount of respect for Jim Wallis. Controversial that he is, he is asking the church to look at the shells of Christian sub-culture and recognize that not only is it not enough to live in that shell, but it's unbiblical to ignore the world around you. I appreciate that, because as many of you know I often have visceral reaction to selfishness. And at the heart of his theology, Wallis is asking the church to stop being so selfish. I may not agree with all of his views, but it's partly due to him that I understand the importance of buying local and fair trade, as well as how the poor are often affected the deepest and the worst when a major crises hits our nation. That's something to pause on. A lot of what he says gives me something to pause on.

The couple the Christian Education team wanted to teach the parenting class became aware of the Jim Wallis study. Nothing has been approved through the proper channels yet. After all, I just finished reviewing this study this morning. Once I completely my evaluation of it, I will take it to the team and we go from their. That's the process we take here. But I spent almost an hour on the phone today with this couple about the Wallis study. They wanted me to make sure I knew they didn't support it.

I've realized over and over that I could never do this job without my seminary education. It wasn't an easy experience, but the classes Ihad on leadership, church politics and dealing with people have been invaluable to helping me deal with some of what I deal with. But in some ways, it's made things harder for me too, for I see past a person's actions and words and deeper into what is almost always a world of hurt and often ignorance simply because we remain happy to acquiesce the status quo. In our zeal to be right, we continue believe what we've always believed (or what the loudest pundit has told us to believe) rather than asking the difficult questions we need to ask. In this case, my questions were along this line, "Just because we let a Jim Wallis study, (which I found quite neutral despite his reputation,) create a slippery slope in to social liberalism?" "Are we to discount a good study just because of whose name is on it?" ""Since you haven't done through the study why are you assuming it has no value?" "And why is becoming socially more aware a problem? It's certainly not unbiblical." And then more personal question for my dissenter, "Why are you have such a strong reaction to this?" "Is there something else going on in your heart right now that is causing this reaction... perhaps a past experience with hurt attached to it?" "Why aren't you trusting those in leadership (i.e. me and the senior pastor) with this issue?"

Ah... the last one, when I uttered it, helped me know where I was coming from in this whole matter. I realized I was hurt that she didn't trust me or the pastor to prevent Jim Wallis and his "Marxist leanings" from overtaking our church. I was hurt that she didn't trust my judgement, after reviewing the curriculum, to do the right thing. And then... the manipulation began. "Well, if you decide to let this study in the church, my husband and I will want to attend that class and not teach one. We'll need to be in there." Reminder: all this before she's even seen the study. She is wielding a lot of unfair power here and I don't know who to teach her another way.

I found myself wondering, "Where is the grace?" I found myself wondering how I can help her understand that slippery slope arguments are unfair, because they project what might become unfairly. So what about what might become... in a good way? What if the church has its heart changed, feeling the need to reach out more and in different ways? What if, instead of assuming the worst thing will hapen, the best thing happens?

In others words, is all of this a risk we are willing to take?"

Ugh. Ministry is hard. Grace is hard to communicate. Manipulation is hard to withstand. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

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